This will be a post about finally learning to bite. This is a question I'm going to begin asking myself more and more as I get older. I've realized that the only person I make excuses to anymore is me. And, like the gullible guy I am, I believe my own excuses. It's not even hard anymore, its like conning preschoolers. I think we all end up in this situation a lot more than we'd like to admit. Why can't we ever stop barking and just take a bite?
For me, the first bite is writing on this blog again. I've had an overdue Asana notice since August 8th that read "Blog Post on Anything". So at least tonight, I will be able to cross that off and begin thinking about all the other things I'm too busy to write and too tired to do. Sometimes I wish it was way easier to literally slap yourself in the face, but its physically awkward and I'm afraid someone will snap a picture of it. All kidding aside I think we all need to step back sometimes and say, "why can't I just do this? "
A couple examples of my own life and a few of the excuses I've made.
Example: I want to start playing tennis more.
Excuses: I can't find anyone to play with me, I don't have any tennis balls, I don't have the time, I'm not feeling well, I didn't drink enough water today, It's going to be dark out in a few hours, the courts might already be full.
See that? These were all easily remedied. The only people who wanted to play didn't have a racquet, so i bought an extra one. I also bought tennis balls. I set up scheduled times to play and now I'm playing tennis two times a week. And its fun.
Example: I want to read at a few more open mics.
Excuses: I don't have time. I'm not that good. I'll never be as good as BW. I'm out of town on wednesdays and thats the only open mic I've ever read at. What if people laugh at me. What if I have to find out how really not good I am? I just don't have anything I really want to write about.
I'm still not over this one, but I have a couple of things I want to try. I'm going to stop worrying about how terrible I am. The one thing I've realized is no one will ever be as mean in public as commenters on the internet or your roommates, so I'll just go out there and get my polite applause, and feed off it. Ride that wave of obligation until I actually get good enough to deserve it. I think this rule is good enough to apply to anything we do in public. As for not having anything to write about FilmCritHulk had two awesome tweets about getting over the fear to write today that made me think more about this:
...THE SICKENING, SAD KNOWLEDGE THAT IF YOU DON'T WRITE YOU'RE NOT A WRITER. WRITING ISN'T A POSSIBLE CAREER. IT'S A LIFELONG COMPULSION. START IMMEDIATELY.
Who I am to argue with the Incredible Hulk? Writing has to become a compulsion. You can write about anything. My next poem might be about the clicky sound the keyboard makes, the bounce of the keys, and the tiny earthquakes that shake and rattle the bones in your fingers until you're not typing anymore, you're putting wishes on pages, slipping secrets onto the screen and you're not typing anymore, you're raising the dead* and you know what, it might be the best poem anyone has ever written ever, but we can never know that unless I write it. If you are on the fence about creating something because you don't have any ideas then stop looking for ideas and instead create something. If you work at it hard enough you'll find something along the way. After I finish this post I plan on writing something new, and it may never be performed on stage but at least it'll have been written. And that last excuse about not being able to go to that open mic night I went to that one other time because its on Wednesdays? Problem solved. You're welcome future self.
I'm ending this post with an open challenge to both myself and the other three people who will read this. Let's all stop making excuses to ourselves! I'm still totally cool with you blowing off everyone else, but when we outsmart ourselves we still look dumb. When you find yourself yapping on about why you can't do something I encourage you: bite.
* This italicized section was written as an edit when I decided to add to see what the start to a poem about the clicky sound my keyboard makes. I took a bite, now its time to chew.
I don't think i need to really describe to anyone what Reservior Dogs is, but this film features some of the best acting performances from Michael Madsen and Tim Roth and also features a delightful insight into the psychology of those who don't tip. This is obviously a must see heist film and one of Tarnatino's finest films